Sunday Spirit: My story

Making a wish on my 25th Birthday (and lighting my hair on fire)

I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend so far. Mine has been pretty interesting to say the least. I had all sorts of plans for this weekend, but that all changed on Thursday when I decided to audition for the new student program at the Estonian National Opera. So, instead of having a quite creative weekend, it has been filled with preparations and singing and a little bit of anxiety. 

I rarely talk about my singing studies here at Pearls & Scissors, but I thought I'd share a piece of that story with you today. The first point on my about page says "I'm 25 and still a student". I think that sentence actually says a lot about me. I'm still learning, I'm still fighting to fulfill my dreams, and my age is not going to stop me. 

I always dreamed of becoming a famous singer when I was a child. I used to imagine being discovered and then becoming an international superstar (lol). I guess many of us have those fantasies as a child. I gave up on my dream as a teenager struggling with performance anxiety. At that time I thought it was a part of myself I couldn't change, and that becoming a singer was simply not meant to be. I also thought that since nobody had discovered me and supported my singing, I wasn't that talented in the first place. And that was that. 

I focused on my academic studies and went to study psychology after high school. Nothing interested me in the way singing had done once, but I had to choose something and psychology sounded interesting enough. In hindsight, I think it was the best decision I could have made, because psychology is what  helped me to deal with my anxiety and rekindled that old dream of becoming a singer. So, in the middle of my Master's studies I decided to make a U-turn and start all over again studying classical singing. 

At first my parents thought it was some kind of time filling plan until I complete my psychology studies (I had only the thesis to write), and my relatives kept asking what I wanted to do after I got my diploma. I guess they thought that this was just a hobby. But over the course of the past school year everybody has started to take my dream more seriously. I got my psychology diploma, but my journey to my dream has only just begun. The past year has been the most emotional, scary, happy and fulfilling time of my life. I don't know if I have what it takes or if I'm ever going to sing on a big stage, but I'm sure as hell going to try. 

Do you have a dream your striving to fulfill? Have you ever second guessed yourself or thought about giving up? I'd love to hear your story!