This week was...

This week was crazy, which is part of the reason you haven't seen any updates on the blog. The other reason is that I'm finally moving all my stuff to a new self-hosted Wordpress site, and all the posts have already been migrated. So, adding new ones would mean manually reposting them on the new site, so I thought I'd keep the number of those posts to a minimum. Plus, this helps me to really focus on getting the new site finished up and ready to go live. Fingers crossed!

This week was about starting something new. The whole experience of launching an online course has been such a learning opportunity for me. From developing a course layout, to creating promotional materials, to building members-only site, to launching and marketing. To, now, actually teaching the classes and producing material for that. Talk about a learning curve.

This week was about seeking new opportunities. The state of my business is becoming more clear, and I'm also being more realistic about the growth potential, so I'm finding new ways to provide stability into our lives. At this point, every week is a new adventure, and changes happen very quickly for us. It's hard to even imagine what our life will look like in a month, much less 6 moths, or a year. Crazy times. Hard times. But, happy times.

This week was refreshing. The warm and sunny weather has re-energized me in the best way. Summer has always been my time. I'm a summer child through and through. I'm soaking up all the sun I can before flying to Estonia for a week on Tuesday. My mom said it's the coldest spring she remembers in years. Perfect.

I will be back next week with a couple new projects and the routine here will shortly fall back into its usual track. It's a sort of change of seasons - there's always the odd transitioning phase before we settle into the new one. Hopefully, I can greet you soon on the new site!

See you soon!
xo. Hanna

Life Lately

 Life has been full lately. Full of thought and process, a lot of progress and even perfection. I haven't done a life update in a while, so I thought it would be high time I shared what I've been up to these days.

I've made some progress on the work-front and am now nanny-ing part-time and giving piano lessons. It's funny how life works sometimes. Both of these jobs are by Estonian-German families, meaning the Mom in the family is Estonian. What's even more, I blindly applied for the nanny position without even knowing it was a fellow Estonian. Worked out perfectly!

I can honestly say I've enjoyed every working hour spent these past couple of weeks. I'm super content with the situation at the moment in the sense that this arrangement helps us out financially, but leaves time for building my blog and business. Plus, the little girl I'm looking after is just the cutest. I might have to take on one more family to work for, just to bring more financial security to our lives, but other than that I'm happy with the way things are.

Speaking of building my business. Here's a little sneak peek at the projects I've been working on for the Start Sewing Club. I'm totally in love with both projects, and I loved sewing these. My goal was to create a 2-piece outfit that's fun to sew (even for total beginners) and has a lot of potential for different variations. And, they are the perfect addition to a summer wardrobe. I'm going to share more details with the Start Sewing List, so get on it if you haven't already (just fill in the form below!). I'm going to sew another set with the club, and I'm already looking forward to it.

Now that I'm done with the samples and figured out the meat of the program, I'm almost ready to launch. So Excited! Seriously, I think this is it. This is the project I've been searching for. The idea of this sewing club was one that just clicked and I instantly felt so inspired to create it. I'm all about ideas in general, but this one was different somehow. You know what I mean? I really had to contain myself to keep the time-frame and project load to a manageable size this time. I had grand plans, but luckily I have a hubby who knows how to ground me. Since the first run of the club will be a pioneer, I really need to keep the work-load manageable for both me and the club members.

I could write a whole post on this subject, and I probably will, but for now, I'm going to leave it at this little update.

Last but not least, I HAVE to talk about the weather. I mean, would you just look at that?! I love spring in Cologne!! There are gorgeous blooming trees everywhere, and it's been super warm and sunny for the past 2 weeks. It's what I used to dream about in Estonia. I totally see why people love spring now. It was hard seeing the beauty of spring when it consisted of melting snow, mud puddles and cold wind, whereas here it's like summer in Estonia. So pretty!

Life lately has been a whirlwind, but in a good way. I hope yours has, too!

xo. Hanna

P.S! I know this is getting annoying, but I just can't contain myself. Do hop on the Start Sewing mailing list and I'll send you more updates on the upcoming Sewing Club and early bird bonuses that only the list-people get. Oh, and of course, you'll get the Start Sewing Guide sent to your inbox for free!

Who is your biggest influencer?

Warning! This post is a bit different from what you're used to seeing on Pearls & Scissors, but it's totally worth it, I promise.

Some of you might not now this, but I actually have an MA in psychology. I'm not going to go into the story of how a psychology student became a DIY blogger and operatic singer today. However, for the longest time I've wanted to write about some of the things I learned during my psychology studies that really changed how I think about and view myself and others around me.

Whether you love motivational quotes or not, I think we can all agree that words do have power. The words that others speak influence how we perceive ourselves and our actions. Even the most thick-skinned of us can be unnerved by a negative comment from someone whose opinion we value. On the flip side, an encouragement from a significant other can truly make our day and turn our frown upside down, right?

What we don't often think about, or even realize, is the way the words WE speak to ourselves influence us. How does it make us feel when we put ourselves down? "Quitting your day job before a steady income wasn't very smart, now was it?" "Look at those beer-handles! Lazy much?" "Do you really think you have ANYTHING valuable to offer anyone?" Sound familiar?

Most of us say something along those lines to ourselves. And that's just sad. Would you say anything like that to your best friend? A family member? Anyone you really care about?

Probably not. Why then, do we keep treating ourselves this way? And this is NOT a rhetorical question. Really ask yourself - How do you justify this behavior?

Does it make you more motivated? Honestly, I'd love to say "Yeah, this totally makes me work my ass off!", but the truth is, it just makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Does it help you make changes in your life you need to make? If I'm honest with myself, these types of thoughts just make me feel guilty for not having made these changes already. Or, they might even make me feel I will never be able to make these changes cause I'm such a loser. Does that happen do you, too?

Does it boost your confidence or make you feel better? Nope, never.

Does it help you to find a solution or help you cope with the situation? I don't remember it ever doing so.

It does NOT motivate. It does NOT change anything. It does NOT make you feel better, or help you cope. So, STOP doing it!

I know. It's way easier said than done. I'm a perfectionist in nature, so believe me, being gentle and caring towards myself is the hardest thing to do for me. But, I've realized that I need to give myself the same care and compassion that I would someone I love. Because I DO want to love myself. ME is all I have.

Whenever I feel these negative thoughts swirling around in my mind and it's just pouring shit in my brain, I stop myself and think - "What would you say right now if you were talking to a good friend?"
Sometimes it's easier to put myself into that position than others, but it's always a good thing to at least be aware of the fact that you're putting yourself down and it's not helping. Even if you don't know the right words to say to yourself just yet, just stop for a second and give yourself a break. You will thank yourself later.

Now, consider how you feel when you say something nice to yourself. How do you feel when you get encouragement from yourself? How does it feel to give yourself a mental high five? "Wow, Hanna, you were so productive today. Amazing job!" "You look tired. Time to take a break and refuel. You'll do a much better job once you've rested!" "I know you're just starting out, but you're already doing a great job on getting healthier!"

I don't know about you, but I feel so much more connected with myself, more confident and happier when I say those things to myself. When I speak to myself with respect, gratitude and love, I instantly feel better about myself, my actions, and my life in general.

The thought of talking to yourself this way might seem silly at first. A lot of the times, we put so much focus and weight on what OTHER PEOPLE are saying to us. It might even feel like encouragement or critique from others might make or break us. In the midst of all this outside chatter, we might forget about the inner voice. But, just take a minute to really think about this.

It's estimated that an average person has about 50 000 - 70 000 thoughts per day (sometimes it feels I have 100 000). If we assume that a thought is roughly one sentence, that's a lot of talk going on in our head all the time. Now, it's also estimated by another study that we use about 16 000 words per day. If we divide those into sentences, it would be around 3200 sentences (with an average of 5 words per sentence).  So, you say 50 000 sentences to yourself, but only 3200 sentences to others. How's that for some perspective?

YOU are your biggest influencer. What you say to yourself matters!

These types of posts tend to become a "Great point! I'll get to it someday" thought in my head, so I thought I'd challenge myself and you to really put it into use now. Be a better influence on yourself, and say something encouraging to yourself RIGHT NOW. Did you do it? Good.

And now, for the rest of this week, say something positive or encouraging to yourself every time you brush your teeth. This way, hopefully, the practice of being a good influencer will become a daily habit like brushing your teeth.

Are you in?

xo. Hanna

Words for the Week No.28 // The next step

For me, life these days is a bunch of steps. I'm not moving by leaps and bounds, but I am moving. I'm keeping my chin up, my focus on the future, and just taking that next step. At this point, so much of our lives is sort of in limbo-land. There are so many loose ends that it's hard to see where all this is going. So, all I can do is take another step, and another step.  

Right now, it's doing my best on this blog. Writing and creating with passion and love. It's doing my homework in B-school and learning as much as possible. It's dreaming big and finding new ways to move towards those dreams. I could either look at this point in our lives as something very difficult, demotivating and stressful. Or, I could look at it as a time full of countless possibilities to create the future we want. Nothing is decided. Which means that everything is open. 

I'll be the first to admit that choosing the second outlook is not easy, and I don't succeed every day. But the days I am able to see the good are the days that inspire me to keep moving on the bad ones.

I'm a dreamer through and through. I love creating alternate futures in my head, envisioning how my life would pan out. I've done a lot of dreaming and planning lately, and each time the dream gets more clear to me. Each time the path to that life is a little less foggy. So, I will keep dreaming, planning, and moving forward. Because this is my time to turn the vision in my head to my everyday reality.

Do you have a dream - a vision of how you want your future to be? Do you know what your next step will be to make sure you will get there?

I'd love to hear your dreams and thoughts in the comments!

xo. Hanna

The secret beliefs of a fabric hoarder

my messy refashionista and fabric shelves back in Tallinn

There's an addiction that many seamstresses suffer under, and it's called fabric hoarding. It's a serious condition that makes a person buy and hoard fabrics despite the financial or spacial resources available to him/her, and neglect quality time with loved ones in favor of fabric shopping. Not being able to acquire new fabric for long periods may result in pouting, mood swings, and even anxiety. Seeing fabric after a period of abstinence may result in sweaty palm, trembling hands, and pounding heart.

My name is Hanna and I am a fabric hoarder. It's an addiction I've had for over 10 years now. Ever since I started sewing I've had the compulsive need to find, buy, and keep fabric. I used to think that it was a bad thing. But, not anymore. Others might say I'm in denial, but what ever...

Sure, it can become a burden, when you live in a small flat with little storage. And yes, it's harder to keep a clean room with piles and piles of fabric lying around. But, there's one thing I've learned to believe over the years - every fabric has a destiny. I know, it sounds super fatalistic, and maybe even a little bit creepy, but hear me out.

The way I see it, there are two kinds of seamstresses. The ones that get a fabric for a specific project, and the ones that seek a project for that special fabric they bought. Of course, we all dabble in both sometimes, but most of the time, it's one or the other. I fall into the latter category. I used to beat myself up for it, but I've learned that that's just how I relate to fabric, and crafting materials in general for that matter. I've never dug deeper into it, but somewhere inside I feel that each fabric in my stash has it's own destiny to fulfill. It's like they want me to hold on to them until that right project comes along.

Time and time again my sewing-life has shown me that's the case. I've had fabrics wait in my closet for almost 10 years before they get made into something. There are fabric that I've laid on the floor many times only to put them back on the shelf cause it just didn't feel right. But those moments, when the right fabric meets the right idea are the ones that make it all worth it. The hours spent in fabric shops, taking a look at just one more roll of fabric... The piles of fabric, clothing and notions filling up every inch of our apartment (both previous and this one). It's all for that special moment, when the plan comes together. When the magic happens.

After all these years, I've learned to accept my condition, and live with it. And honestly, although I sometimes wish I could just use up everything I have and stop hoarding, I wouldn't really give it up even if I could. I love looking at my fabrics and dreaming of all the possibilities just too much.

How about you, are you more of a hoarder, or a buy-to-use type of seamstress?

xo. Hanna

This week was...

This week was good. I can't believe how different this week was from the last. I've been so much more energetic, determined, good-spirited and creative. In fact, I think I haven't created this much in months. I love the Creative10 project, and making stuff for my shop (another update is in the works) and for this blog. I feel like myself again. I hope it lasts.

This week was encouraging. My decision to take my blog and shop seriously has got me into full creative work mode. For the past 2 weeks I've made myself a to-do list for the week on Sunday, and tried to check off as many items as possible every day. As a result, I've worked 12-14 hour days, but I love it! I love waking up to my messy desk in our kitchen, opening my day-planner and getting to work. I also had a job interview this week - we'll see what comes of it. And, the biggest news of all, I got a singing engagement. I'm so excited about it, and can hardly believe it!

This week was creative. Not only do I have 2 shop updates in the works, I'm also creating a new blog-design, planning a big series for the blog, and I finally finished the sweater I've been knitting for the past month. Now I'm itching for a new knitting project. I don't think I'll be sharing the pattern for the sweater on the blog, since it didn't com out exactly as planned, and is a bit too complicated to do a DIY on, but I would love to create more simple knitting pattern for the blog. Any requests?

Also featuring me made pot holders.

This week was delicious. We're still going strong on our goal to try different recipes each week. I think we've made only a couple tried and true's over the last 4 weeks. Way to go Saar family! I'm so proud of us. Above is Rein's casserole (he'd never made one before).

Never mind the clock on the screen, this picture is form last Sunday

This week was new. Rein started a language course this week, which meant we'd wake up at 7am each day (which is pretty much unheard of, if you know me), and I have to admit I like this new rhythm, although the first few days were rough. I'm also sleeping much better now, since I'm actually exhausted by the end of the day. I would never have thought I'd like getting up early, and I can't say I love it (it's still hard), but I love the full day I have if I do. If I could only work on my creative goals, I'd have no trouble getting up to work anyway.

How was your week?
xo. Hanna

Sunday Spirit // Little steps go a long way

I feel I've been making progress this week. When I wrote that post on Monday, I really felt defeated. No job, no plan and a lot of worry. But, I was determined to get out of that rut and start feeling more like myself. I know that only I can make things better for myself. Yes, there are a lot of things that just feel lucky in our lives, but we still have to open ourselves up for those possibilities.

I decided today, that I will start work tomorrow. How the hell are you going to find a job in 12 hours you might ask? Well, you see, I already have a job. I have a shop. A functioning e-shop that I've been neglecting for the past few weeks. I've been so caught up in finding a "real" job, that I completely forgot that I actually have my own business. Truth be told, I'm probably the worst employee of the month right now, and that's not ok. It's time to stop doubting myself and start really working on those big goals.

I'm not saying I'll stop looking for a "real" job - we still need that financial stability right now. But, I might as well make the most of my time until then. I hope you'll be here to cheer me on! (Also, feel free to share my shop link with family and friends. How's that for my first marketing efforts?)

We've been trying to cope with the stress we both feel right now by taking daily walks together. Just to get outside, move and breath some fresh air. It's been so good. Especially when the sun shines during our walk and we get to talk about good stuff. Like making something yummy for dinner, or planning a party with friends. I think it's so important to make room for and remember those good things in our lives even in times of stress and tension. Sometimes, it doesn't take much to make a happy life.

Speaking of yummy... One of our New Year's goals was to cook something new every week. If you don't know this yet, I don't like cooking. If I could have it my way, I would hardly ever cook anything. But lately I've realized that a big part of why I don't like to cook is that I make the same things over and over and it's boring. We've been watching a lot (like a lot) of Master Chef lately, and I've been feeling more inspired to try new recipes. So far, we managed to make even more than one new dish each week and I hope we can keep that up. One my favorite dishes from the last couple of weeks was the pesto chicken pasta with rucola tomato and mango salad pictured above, and the best brownies I've ever made (or eaten) using this recipe.

I've also been making progress on my sweater. This one is coming along slowly, but steadily. I hope that once it's ready I can share the pattern with you as well. I usually make my own patterns when knitting, because every time I've tried to use an existing pattern, I've failed horribly. The most painful fail was the sweater I spent 3 months secretly knitting for Rein last Christmas, which turned out to be 3 sizes too big. Ouch! Needless to say (pun intended), I lost my will to knit for a while after that.

How was your week, friends!

xo. Hanna

P.S! Thanks to all who took the time to respond to the reader survey! It's now closed. I'll be posting a summary of the results some time next week.

One Little Word for the year: Courage

The new year seems more special to me this time than it has in the past. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel that this year is going to be special. Everything is so fresh and new, and it makes me excited for what's to come. We made our goal list together with Rein and I hope it's going to be a family tradition for years to come. I also decided to join the One Little Word™ exercise this year. I've read a lot of great things about it recently, and I just felt I needed to experience it for myself.

At first, I thought it would be hard for me to choose a word, but one little word did pull me harder than the rest. So, my word for 2015 is COURAGE. It's something I need in my life right now. I'm at a point in my life where the only way forward is through overcoming fear and putting myself out there. And that demands a lot of courage.

I want to have courage in my career. At this point I don't have anything to loose. I promise to take on challenges, and crab for opportunities I'm scared of. The worst that can happen is a little disappointment. I think I can live with that. But, the best that can happen is that my dreams will come true. And that perspective sounds amazing to me.

I want to have courage in life. I have some secret dreams that I would love to pursue. So, I'm trying to have more courage and just do what feels right and what I really want. It can only lead to a better, more fulfilling life, right?

It's easy to get sidetracked by fear and self-doubt. Both of those feelings aren't foreign to me, but I will make a conscious effort to move passed them. Most of the boundaries in our life are self-inflicted, so it's time to climb over them and see what's on the outside. I'm really excited to let this one little word lead me through this year and hopefully remind me to take more risks and actively move towards my goals, even if the journey scares me a bit.

Will you join the One Little Word exercise? What is the word that will guide you through this year?

Happy New Year, my friends!
xo. Hanna

On coping with life-altering decisions

If I'm really honest with you, I have to admit that the last year has been the hardest of my life. It was also the most rewarding, and the happiest, if that makes any sense. Lets just say, it was full of contrasting emotions. I've never felt so content in my decisions, or so happy in my relationships, but also, I've never had to deal with so much change and the challenges that come with it.

Last summer, I made a decision that changed every aspect of my life as I knew it. I briefly mentioned it on the blog, and I won't go into further detail, but I broke up with my then boyfriend of many years, to be with my then best friend, who now is my husband. Choosing between the two most important men in my life seemed impossible at the time. It was like on of those movies you see, only nothing is ever that romantic and simple in real life. Life is complicated and not everything we do can be the right thing to do. Sometimes we end up in situations where there is no one right way to go. Either way, you end up hurting someone, or you end up hurting yourself in some way.

Although I was certain of my decision in my heart, giving up my relationship also meant losing a lot of stability in my life and some very dear people. I turned my life upside down. Everything I thought I knew, everything I had believed to be my life was gone. I didn't know if I was truly ready for this much change, but I had no other choice than to jump right in.

Now, being on the other side, a happy newlywed, I can sincerely say that I made it. And the grass is so much greener on the other side. Although it's been incredibly hard at times, I've never regretted my decision, and I've never given up on my dream future.

This year has taught me so much about patience, respecting other's feeling, letting go of negativity and coping with my own difficult life choices. Here are my two cents on coping with a life-altering decision:

1. Making a life-altering decision is one thing, but living with the consequences is another story. And, while the decision-making process seems the most daunting step at first, the long run is still ahead. Knowing the possible implications will not only help you make the decision, it will also help you deal with the aftermath. Although I thought about life after the decision, I don't think I was fully prepared for what was going to happen. Not only the impact of others, but also the way I treated myself at times truly surprised me. I learned that I am my worst critic. But, I also learned to be more gentle on myself, and not care so much what other people think.

2. Having good people to lean on is the single most important thing. When things are great, we may not even realize how much we need our people. For me, my (now) husband, my best friends, and my family have been the best support group I could ever find. They listened to my crying, and my wining, and dealt with my sadness and confusion. Although they worried, they never judged. Even if they didn't understand, they supported me.

3. Which brings me to my next point. Talk about it. I know it's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason. Talking constructively about your thoughts and feeling helps. Seriously. Even if it's hard, sometimes you just need to get it all out. Trust me, I'm a psychologist (it's funny cause it's true). Some things are very hard to talk about - there's a lot of guilt, and shame, and confusion. But, bottling it all inside is not going to help at all.

4. Dreaming is the fuel for the future. I dreamed a lot - of better days, of new goals, new horizons, a better, more fulfilling life. Some days, that was what kept me going. All through our first few months of dating, me and Rein would stay up for hours at night dreaming about our future together. And those dreams have fueled our lives. One of our dreams was to move to Cologne, and we're actually doing it! Dreams have power if you give it to them, remember?

5. Feel what you're feeling. Change means a lot lot of stress, and even if you know it's in the right direction, it won't be all rainbows and sunshine. We need to give ourselves permission to feel whatever we're feeling, without feeling guilty about it. Don't pressure yourself to be OK when you're just not there yet. Even though my decision created a new and better life for me in the end, the transition phase was the hardest time of my life. Sometimes it was hard to let myself be sad. You chose this, so you don't get to be sad, right? The thing is, even though you chose this path, doesn't mean it has to be easy for you. You're allowed to struggle. It's normal.

6. Accept whatever is coming. This in one of the hardest things to do. I know. But, it's also the only thing you can do.  Accept, that there was always going to be a totally shitty time (to quote one of my favorite movies). Accept, that there will be people who don't want you in their lives anymore. Accept that there will be people who will never understand. Accept, that some people will judge. These are things that you don't have control over. So, just accept them and move on.

7. It's a process. Process the change. Feel it. Talk about it. Learn from it. Try to understand it. Processing is what makes time heal all wounds. It's not time that heals, but the process of going through it.

This post has been on my mind for a very long time, and I've taken time over the last couple of weeks to write it. It hasn't been easy, but I felt I needed to get this out there for those who might be going through something similar. It's one of those things that we don't talk about on blogs. We fear we're going to be judged or misunderstood. Sometimes I felt so alone because I didn't know anyone who had gone through what I was going through. So, I hope this helps somebody somewhere to cope with their life-altering decisions.

Thanks for letting me share!
xo. Hanna

Words for the week // No.4

quote adapted from We&Serendipity

Mondays seem to escape me these past couple of weeks. It's Sunday and then it's magically Tuesday. How does that happen? Anyways...

This weeks words are becoming my motto. I've had a week to adjust to the idea of staying in Estonia and I'm slowly re-directing my dream route. At this point, I'm not excited about the future, but I'm curious. Curious about what new opportunities this new road will take me to. That's what makes life interesting, right? Shortcuts, detours, getting lost, and finding the right way.

Have a wonderful week!

xo Hanna

Sunday Spirit: Wish me luck!

You guys, they're here! My first final exam is tomorrow already (yikes!). I'm feeling a bit nervous (who am I kidding, I'm freaked out!) and trying to make the most of the time that's left to revise and practice, and to prepare myself mentally (it's gonna be fine, it's gonna be fine, it's gonna be fine...). So my day will be full of intervals, accords and harmony rules. Fun, eh?

I can't believe how fast the past three years have gone by. I know I say that a lot, but we were having lunch with classmates just the other day, and it felt like I just got to know them, we just had our first party together (awesome, by the way), it was only just yesterday that we stood in that hallway waiting for our entrance exams. Wasn't it? What can I say, it just proves that time flies fast when you're having fun. And these past few years truly have been the most amazing ones in my life, despite all the crazy changes they've brought. I wouldn't change a thing.

The blog will be a little quieter this week, since I have another big exam on Thursday, but I'll be back at the end of the week.

Wish me luck!

Sunday Spirit: Smashing the walls inside

I love this quote! I don't know who said it, but I'm glad it found its way through the interwebs into my Pinterest feed.

I wish I could say I'm the type of person who has no walls and builds no boundaries, but the truth is, I'm just like most of us - scared to step out of my comfort zone and do something I've never done before. I mean, what if I fail? What if people judge me? What if...
The past year, however, has forced me to test my boundaries, to push myself further, and to overcome fear. And every time I've done that, I've felt nearer to my dreams. It makes me feel like I truly can accomplish anything if I really want to.

I'm trying to make a habit out of smashing walls. Every time I want to do something, but am held back by fear, I ask myself - what do I really have to lose? Because I know what I have to gain. I also know, that the fear will fade as soon as I take the first step. So, all it takes, is taking that first step.

I'm taking the first step today. How about you? When was the last time you pushed your boundaries and smashed one of those walls? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Sunday Spirit: The journey of change

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. Changes that have happened in my life, my thoughts, my perspectives, even my hopes and dreams. Sometimes I forget, that change is the only constant in life. Everything that we experience makes a little dent in our minds and therefor changes us in a way. If you think about it that way, change feels a natural part of life, doesn't it? Yes.... but why then is it so hard to accept?

Change is so dear to my heart right now because this year will be a wonderful journey for me, full of expected, and certainly, unexpected changes. I'm not only preparing to take a new step towards my dream career as a singer, but I'm also preparing to take the biggest leap of faith with the man I love. And to top it off, I'm preparing to move to a new country. I'm full of change these days, you might say, and I've got to be honest, it scared the crap out of me at first.

As I thought about this, I made a conscious decision to welcome change. Sometimes it's like taking a step in a dark room, but then again, you never know what greatness you might stumble upon. And, since change is about to occur anyway, I'd rather embrace it than be afraid of it. I should probably write that on my mirror...

What's your relationship with change? Are you welcoming it with open arms, or rather waiting anxiously? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Curveballs

I've always been one of those people who don't believe in anything they can't see or feel. I believe in people, in love, and in friendships, but not in fate or some cosmic power making out my destiny. But, lately, something has started to shift in me. The choices I've been faced with, the completely unexpected route my life has taken has got me thinking. Every once in a while I find myself thinking "How did I get here?". I know how I got here, it all makes perfect sense, yet, it doesn't make sense at all. Do you know what I mean? I'm constantly surprised by the way my life has panned out, and I can't even imagine what lies ahead.

People often say if you have a clear vision of your future and work toward it, you will eventually get there. And I believe in visions, in dreams that take us further. But, what I've come to realize is that we don't know how to create that vision, because we can't possibly see the curveballs life has in store for us. When I think back on my dream and vision that I had 5 years ago for my present day, I can only laugh, because there is not one single thing from that vision that has come true. Except me still being alive. But, I'm not complaining. My life now is actually better than I visioned. It's completely different, but so much more fulfilling. 

I'll still be dreaming and visioning my future, but I'm starting to happily welcome those curveballs, because they often take me to a better place. Even if it is through a challenging time. I know that a beautiful life is waiting for me on the other side. Life is good.