Life Lately

 Life has been full lately. Full of thought and process, a lot of progress and even perfection. I haven't done a life update in a while, so I thought it would be high time I shared what I've been up to these days.

I've made some progress on the work-front and am now nanny-ing part-time and giving piano lessons. It's funny how life works sometimes. Both of these jobs are by Estonian-German families, meaning the Mom in the family is Estonian. What's even more, I blindly applied for the nanny position without even knowing it was a fellow Estonian. Worked out perfectly!

I can honestly say I've enjoyed every working hour spent these past couple of weeks. I'm super content with the situation at the moment in the sense that this arrangement helps us out financially, but leaves time for building my blog and business. Plus, the little girl I'm looking after is just the cutest. I might have to take on one more family to work for, just to bring more financial security to our lives, but other than that I'm happy with the way things are.

Speaking of building my business. Here's a little sneak peek at the projects I've been working on for the Start Sewing Club. I'm totally in love with both projects, and I loved sewing these. My goal was to create a 2-piece outfit that's fun to sew (even for total beginners) and has a lot of potential for different variations. And, they are the perfect addition to a summer wardrobe. I'm going to share more details with the Start Sewing List, so get on it if you haven't already (just fill in the form below!). I'm going to sew another set with the club, and I'm already looking forward to it.

Now that I'm done with the samples and figured out the meat of the program, I'm almost ready to launch. So Excited! Seriously, I think this is it. This is the project I've been searching for. The idea of this sewing club was one that just clicked and I instantly felt so inspired to create it. I'm all about ideas in general, but this one was different somehow. You know what I mean? I really had to contain myself to keep the time-frame and project load to a manageable size this time. I had grand plans, but luckily I have a hubby who knows how to ground me. Since the first run of the club will be a pioneer, I really need to keep the work-load manageable for both me and the club members.

I could write a whole post on this subject, and I probably will, but for now, I'm going to leave it at this little update.

Last but not least, I HAVE to talk about the weather. I mean, would you just look at that?! I love spring in Cologne!! There are gorgeous blooming trees everywhere, and it's been super warm and sunny for the past 2 weeks. It's what I used to dream about in Estonia. I totally see why people love spring now. It was hard seeing the beauty of spring when it consisted of melting snow, mud puddles and cold wind, whereas here it's like summer in Estonia. So pretty!

Life lately has been a whirlwind, but in a good way. I hope yours has, too!

xo. Hanna

P.S! I know this is getting annoying, but I just can't contain myself. Do hop on the Start Sewing mailing list and I'll send you more updates on the upcoming Sewing Club and early bird bonuses that only the list-people get. Oh, and of course, you'll get the Start Sewing Guide sent to your inbox for free!

Words for the Week No.30 // Try and fail

These words have been on my mind lately. I can't say I've really succeeded in anything over the past few months, but I can sure say that I've tried. I've done my best each and every day, and this thought somehow puts me at ease. I've found that what I'm most scared of in life is not failure, but not being brave enough to try, and try again. To give it my all. Yes, failing sucks. But having not tried sucks even more.

I've noticed how much more I regret all the things I haven't done due to fear, than the things that I have done and maybe haven't turned out that great. Like owning my Etsy shop for example. It was no success story, but it taught me a lot about myself and what I really want in life. Without that "failure" I would not have learned a valuable lesson. And, I probably would still be wondering the "What if..."s and "why didn't I..."s. What I realized is that learning what you don't like doing, or what you're not good at is just as important as knowing your likes and strengths. Especially if you're multi-passionate like me.

The other important thing I've been noticing in other people's stories is how there really is no over night successes. Before that seemingly quick success you can usually find years of failed attempts. We were watching a show about Modern Talking yesterday, you know that 80's ultra popular German duo,  and I was so surprised to learn how both members of the group had actually had failed careers as solo artists before their success together, which, by the way, one of them didn't even want to be a part of at first, thinking it might ruin his efforts as a solo artist. It's a fascinating story!

I don't think there is one success story that comes without the doubt, fear and failure factor. Everybody who has ever achieved anything great has had those moments when either they themselves, or others, didn't believe in what they were trying to build. The moments when the shit hit the fan. The "NO!"s, the rejection, and the thought of not being good enough. Most everyone has those moments. It's part of the process. And, the sooner we accept it, the sooner we can move on.

This is a concept that has been the toughest for me to adapt, but I truly believe that there are no wasted attempts. Every failure is good for something. Every failure is a way to learn. Without it you would never learn the skills and knowledge to succeed.

Try -> analyze the results -> try to do better - >analyze the results -> rinse+repeat. I don't know how many cycles it will take me to get the formula right, but I'm willing to do the work to get there.

What's the one thing you really need to try again?

xo. Hanna

P.S! You can learn about my latest venture "The Pearls & Scissors Sewing Club" here, and join the mailing list to get the latest and the greatest right below!

Words for the Week No.29 // The next chapter

This awesome art poster is from The Watermelon Factory

As soon I saw this poster on Etsy, I knew I wanted to make it into this week's words. This is exactly what I've realized in the last couple of weeks, or even the last couple of years really. I've gone through so much change in recent times (marrying, moving to Germany, starting to build a business) and when we experience such immense change in every aspect of our life, it causes a lot of stress. Every big change starts a stress reaction in our bodies - that's just a fact. But, the other side of the story is that we get to choose the long-term effect it has on us.

If we believe that it's bad for us, that's exactly what's going to happen. But, if we believe that stress is just a way for our body to help us cope with the situation at hand, it will become an asset instead of a threat. (I love this TED talk on this matter)

It's all about the way I look at it.

I've found that one of the things stopping me from embracing change is the constant look in the rearview mirror. Thinking and re-thinking about things that have passed - the chapter that's ending. I think about all the things I miss. Or, about what I wish I'd done differently. And, while learning from mistakes is certainly important, I can get stuck in the has-been or would-have-been land. 

Sometimes we hold on to the "good old days" so hard that we miss out on all the better days ahead. We fail to see how this new chapter might help us get to where we really want to go.

Fear, anxiety and worry over what's to come are not foreign to me. I experience them all the time. But, what I've started to see is how they are just signs of growth rather than a threat to my being. Jumping into unknown waters is scary, and it should be! I mean, think of what would happen if we weren't afraid at all and were always ready to jump off cliffs. That would be a very dangerous gamble. 

Fear is here to protect us - like a guarding dog. It's our job to let it know that we're ok and ready to take on the risk of doing something new. Stress is here to help us. It's our job to use it to our advantage. 

But, there might be one more thing that keeps us re-reading that old chapter. It's the fear of failure. We might feel that letting go means we've failed. This is the exact reason why the decision to close my Etsy shop was so difficult to make. I had known it wasn't working for a long time. I knew that it wasn't my dream business, but I still kept on going, because I saw myself as a failure if I'd call it quits. The truth is though, that dragging my feet and not taking the necessary steps to move on was the real failure here.

I wasted to much time and energy to work on something that couldn't have succeeded. And that's just stupid!

Although I'm not completely sure what's next for me, I'm glad I'm finally able to end this chapter in my business. It's freed up so much mental space and got me excited to plan a new future. 

To end this little chapter here, I'd like to remind you that there's only 2 days left to buy something from my shop before the doors close for good. And, you can get 50% off everything with the coupon code ENDSALE. 

Have a wonderful start to an amazing week!

xo. Hanna

Words for the Week No.28 // The next step

For me, life these days is a bunch of steps. I'm not moving by leaps and bounds, but I am moving. I'm keeping my chin up, my focus on the future, and just taking that next step. At this point, so much of our lives is sort of in limbo-land. There are so many loose ends that it's hard to see where all this is going. So, all I can do is take another step, and another step.  

Right now, it's doing my best on this blog. Writing and creating with passion and love. It's doing my homework in B-school and learning as much as possible. It's dreaming big and finding new ways to move towards those dreams. I could either look at this point in our lives as something very difficult, demotivating and stressful. Or, I could look at it as a time full of countless possibilities to create the future we want. Nothing is decided. Which means that everything is open. 

I'll be the first to admit that choosing the second outlook is not easy, and I don't succeed every day. But the days I am able to see the good are the days that inspire me to keep moving on the bad ones.

I'm a dreamer through and through. I love creating alternate futures in my head, envisioning how my life would pan out. I've done a lot of dreaming and planning lately, and each time the dream gets more clear to me. Each time the path to that life is a little less foggy. So, I will keep dreaming, planning, and moving forward. Because this is my time to turn the vision in my head to my everyday reality.

Do you have a dream - a vision of how you want your future to be? Do you know what your next step will be to make sure you will get there?

I'd love to hear your dreams and thoughts in the comments!

xo. Hanna

A latte thoughts, a latte talk & a latte feelings

Did you know that although I'm a self-proclaimed coffee lover I actually only drink Café Latte? I make them at home and drink about 3 a day.

Come, pour yourself a cup of jo and have a seat. I feel as if we haven't really had time to catch up lately. I've been busy. You've probably also been busy, right? I miss our little chats and so I thought it was time to do something about that.

I've shared bits and pieces of my business lately, like how I enrolled in B-School, and how the blog is doing financially, and how taking myself more seriously has had some unexpected results, but I haven't really talked about how I'm doing, have I? So what's Hanna up to these days?

I feel like every day is a sort of a roller coaster for me. There are good days (mostly the sunny ones) where I feel full of energy to create, and photograph, and most of all, am hopeful that things will fall into place - that somehow an opportunity will arise that will lead us into an easier situation. But then there are also days where it's not that easy. Those mornings when I wish the alarm clock would just shut up and I could sleep for hours on end, and not do anything. But, I know that is not who I am, and that is not what's going to make me happy. So, I drag myself out of bed every morning and start doing what's on my list. Some days are more successful than others, but I know that no matter what, at least I'll have done something by the end of the night. And that, as I've learned, is what makes me tick - creative time and ticking things of the list.

I've been digging deeper into who I am these past few days. Not that I didn't know who I was before, but to analyze certain sides of me. We had an assignment for B-School that entailed finding out our biggest strengths by way of doing a test and also asking our friends what they thought our biggest strengths were. Reading the results was like looking into a mirror. I always new I had those qualities, but seeing them written out and explained was sort of liberating. It was like I was being given permission to be who I am. Even more, I was celebrated for traits I had disliked at times, like my over-achiever quality, my constant stream of ideas and the need to always be after something new. Sometimes it makes me feel as if I'm all over the place and don't know what I really want. I could finally see how good these qualities really are, and how much they can help me get to where I want to be, if I learn to use them to my advantage. I think that's the biggest gain from studying yourself with these sorts of tests - they help you make sense of how you could best use the qualities and personality traits you have. It's a constant process of self-discovery and affirmation. And, day by day, I feel better about my multi-passionate over-achiever self. Who says you can only pursue one passion? Or do one thing in life?

These days, my time pretty much consist of doing projects and writing for the blog, doing B-School, trying to develop the business from all angles possible, and singing in between. There's a lot of behind the scenes stuff that I don't share on the blog, mostly because it's simple boring. Like developing ad programs, finding exposure opportunities and ways to better grow my business. Snooze.... But, you know what? It's actually the perfect balance of all my passions grammed into one day. And that's something I'm hugely grateful for. Despite the tough times.

There are two things I miss about working outside of home, though. The first is the interactions with people. I love talking! I love communicating (which was actually also one of my top 5 strengths according to both the test and my friends)! I need to grow this blog fast so I could hire an assistant already. Ha, just kidding! It's probably going to take a few years until I can afford that.

The other thing is getting dressed and doing my hair and make-up. I know, I could still do that, but it's so easy to be lazy and just throw something on in the morning rather than put together an outfit, much less mess with my hair and put on make-up. But, I'm slowly making progress.

As for the outside job front, so far I've only had bad news. I've had nothing but rejection letters coming my way. I'm currently looking at babysitter jobs, but I'm getting rejections from those as well. Man, those Germans just can't give me a break. I'm actually pretty smart, and funny, and an over-all nice person, but I somehow can't get that message across. Still hoping something might pop up, though. Any good advice from German readers?

Whew! That was a lot of talk, but I so enjoyed being able to share this with you.

How have you been, my friend?

xo. Hanna

Words for the Week // No.27 // Getting started (and a small favor to ask)

B-Schools first Module was released today, so it's been a little hard to concentrate on writing a blog post. I'm learning a ton and loving it. It's a little like being back in Uni. I loved school! Yep, I'm a regular old nerd like that. If someone would pay me for learning, that's all I would do. Plus sew, of course. Uh-oh, I could learn how to sew better! I'd love to take a sewing class. Ok, getting carried away here.

So, I've obviously totally abandoned my Creative10 challenge. I felt a little bad about it at first, but I think it's fine to quit on a self-imposed challenge if you replace it with an even more awesome on. And getting the most out of B-school is definitely a more important challenge to be tackling right now. I miss my painting sessions a little, though. I'm sure I'll get back to it at some point.

I made a content calendar today, and do I have some awesome crafting sessions planned for you or what! We've experiencing major Spring vibes over here, so all my thoughts are focused on making new additions to my spring and summer wardrobe. Which is always the most creative season for me. The ideas just keep flowing onto paper.

I'm rambling a lot today - I have sooooo many thoughts going through my mind. To wrap this post up, though, I have a favor to ask. 

If you've been a reader for a while, and would be willing to answer a few in depth questions to help me develop Pearls & Scissors further, please e-mail me at hanna@pearlsandscissors.com. Thanks so much!

Have an inspired start to your week!

xo. Hanna

Words for the Week No.26 // About perspective

It's monday, but I don't have a Creative10 project to show you. I've been more creative than usual, but somehow, painting wasn't one of those creative activities last week. I've been making a lot of projects for my upcoming e-book, so I took some time off from the creative challenge.

Over the weekend, I read Oliver Sacks' thoughts on having terminal cancer. He's 81 years old and so, the prospect of death wasn't that foreign to him (being first diagnosed with cancer 9 years previously), but having a clear deadline to his life's work did change his perspective on both life and death. 

This article was somehow unbelievably inspiring for me. When you read the above quote, it might feel sad, not inspiring. But, if you turn the perspective around, and look at it not from the ending, but from the beginning point of life, there's a whole new story there. 

We are all born unique. And, I don't mean it in a motivational-speech kind of way, at least not directly. I just want you to think about this for a second. We all have a unique set of DNA code + a unique life journey which means that there isn't a single human being ever that is exactly the same (at least, the statistical probability of that is non-existent). Isn't that fascinating?

Yes, we all have similar experiences, but we are not the same. Our life is not like any other. We are not like any other. That somehow makes me proud of my life. I'm the only one who gets to experience it. Even more, I have the power to shape what this life is going to be like. I'm the active creator of a big and powerful artwork that is my life.

I loved reading Sacks' thoughts on his life and how he sees the last days of his life. I mean, I hope I live at least another 60 years, but no matter the length, we are born with an expiration date. Am I living my life in a way that by the time I'm at the finish line I would be thankful for every day and everything I was able to fit into it? Honestly, I'm not sure. I think I'm getting there. I think I'm trying to get there. But, I know I could be more bold. More courageous. More appreciative of this unique experience that is my life.

Make this the best week of the year yet! I know I plan to.

xo. Hanna

Scissor Talk // How I got into sewing

A while back, when I did my first Q&A session, Lauren asked me how I got into sewing and refashioning, and I felt that topic really needed it's own post. So, today, I'm going to share my sewing story with you. 

I don't have many crafting memories from my early childhood, but I do remember making clothing for my dolls together with my Mom. We'd cut socks into little skirts and my Mom would stitch up these dresses and vests and what not. And I always loved helping her with it. My Mom is also mostly self-taught, and she would sew crazy beautiful things for us when we were little. Mostly out of necessity, because in the Soviet Union, there was a shortage of everything, including children's clothing. She made jeans for us from her own old pair, and cute outerwear (like a jacket with fun cartoon applications). I guess the refashionista gene runs in the family, kind of. 

My first memory of really being into sewing, and wanting so badly to learn, is when I found out we were going to start having handicraft lessons in school. In Estonia all girls have compulsory handicraft lessons in grades 5-9 (boys have woodwork, and in some schools they switch from time to time). I remember I asked my Mom if she'd teach me how to sew a bag for my crafting supplies. I very distinctly remember the making of that bag. How my Mom helped me figure out the measurements, and cut, and sew. She didn't do any of it for me, but showed me how to do it myself. The bag turned out awesome! And I still use it to hold some of my crafting stuff back at my parents' house. I was so proud of that bag. It was pretty close to a miracle for me. 

As the lessons started, I quickly learned that I loved crafting, but not with that teacher. She was one of those people who could suck all the inspiration out of you in one minute flat. Even back then I didn't really want to make things exactly as she wanted. When everybody was supposed to make a pillowcase, I wanted to make something wearable. When we were supposed to make aprons, I wanted to make dresses. Needless to say, I did what was expected of me (being a perfectionist and a good student), but my creative light dimmed a little during those 2 years.

My me-made high school graduation dress. Hubby guessed I was 12 on this photo. 

Then, in 7th grade we got a new teacher. She was awesome! She was much younger and hipper, and always chose projects that were trendy at the moment. And she was always supportive of students coming up with their own ideas. I remember loving crafting lessons then. I sewed a skirt with Richelieu embroidery on it, knitted a 2.5m long scarf with a lace pattern, crocheted a sweater, and made the embroidered pin cushion I still use, to name a few of my projects back then. Of all the crafts we learned, I always loved sewing the most.

Middle school was a very busy time for me (with all the musical extra curricular activities), so I didn't get into crafting much past the class assignments. And, really, I think that at that time the crafting we did at school was enough to satisfy my creative need. 

Me-made dress from 2010. I had a different blog then, but yes, these are my first attempts at posing for photos :)

My passion for sewing really emerged in high school, when I had the fortune to meet an amazing and inspiring girl named Laura (she has her own Etsy shop now). She came to our class in the 11th grade and I became a fan of her handmade garments very fast. That girl can sew! I remember her coming to school with a new garment she had made over the weekend, and me being oh-so jealous. She encouraged me to give it a try. I borrowed some Burda magazines from her, and then, one weekend I sewed a blouse. And my life was never the same again. It was as if I'd suppressed my sewing urge for years, and could finally let it out. I sewed as much as I could back then, and accumulated heaps of fabric for all the garments I wanted to make. I still have many of fabrics from that period still in my stash (I guess that makes me a really slow seamstress).

A button-down made from one of my Moms vintage night-gowns.

Funnily enough, Laura was also the one that introduced me to thrifting. And, another obsession was born. What initially drew me to thrifting was my student's budget. First it was just buying things I could wear right away, then I found pants that needed hemming, tops that needed shortening, a dress with a stain that needed covering, and before I knew it, I was making a shirt out my Mom's old nightgown (that really happened, just look at the above photo). The more I did it, the more I got into refashioning. I loved it not only for the price, but also the feeling of turning something unwanted into something wearable again. 

And as you know, both my passion for sewing in general, and for refashioning have persisted for many years now. I couldn't even imagine my life without them. 

Gosh, this post was fun to write. I hope you enjoyed this little walk down memory lane.  I'd love to know, what's your sewing/crafting story? Tell me in the comments!

xo. Hanna

P.S! I'm hoping to make talks around sewing and crafting a regular feature on the blog.

Creative10 No.3 // What's the main thing?

Creative10 is a 10-week long personal challenge to enhance my creativity through a different medium. I chose painting because it's something I haven't tried before and it challenges me to open up creatively, and find new ways to express myself. It's also a form of creative therapy to help me get more in contact with my emotions and thoughts.

Already week 3 of this challenge, and I'm thinking it's my last watercolor painting. I actually did two painting today, but I thought I'd share the one that actually had a story behind it. The other one was just me playing around with colors. Which is also part of this challenge, but maybe not so interesting for you to see.

A friend reminded me of this quote yesterday, and I can't seem to get it out of my head. It's been spinning in my mind all day. The main thing really is to keep the main thing the main thing, because the main thing is the MAIN THING, right? I absolutely love this quote. I don't even remember how I stumbled on it, nor do I know who the author of it is (if anyone knows, tell me in the comments so I can give credit). 

Do you know what my main thing is right now? It's making this space work for me. And by this space I mean the blog, and shop. I love doing this! I can't even tell you how much I love waking up in the morning and doing creative work. Coming up with projects, figuring out how to make them, picking the materials, creating it, and sharing it here with you. I love it when you love a project, when you get inspired to make it yourself. When you get inspired to MAKE something, it doesn't even have to be the exact project. Let me tell you a secret. I've only ever done about 2 projects I saw on other blogs, but I still love reading them, because they inspire me to make my own stuff. And that's so valuable.  

I have about a million ideas that I'd like to turn into real things. I want to develop e-books and e-courses, give live workshops, make up-cycled clothing and continue blogging. I love it so much, but if I can't turn this into a profitable business, I need to find something that brings home the bacon, you know?

So, to honor my one little word for the year, I found some courage in me over the weekend, and enrolled to win a scholarship to Marie Forleo's B-School. So, I know this is a long shot, but it's the only way I'll be able to afford it. It would mean the world to me, if you could take a look at my entry, and tell me what you think.  

Let's chat more in the comments!

xo. Hanna

The secret beliefs of a fabric hoarder

my messy refashionista and fabric shelves back in Tallinn

There's an addiction that many seamstresses suffer under, and it's called fabric hoarding. It's a serious condition that makes a person buy and hoard fabrics despite the financial or spacial resources available to him/her, and neglect quality time with loved ones in favor of fabric shopping. Not being able to acquire new fabric for long periods may result in pouting, mood swings, and even anxiety. Seeing fabric after a period of abstinence may result in sweaty palm, trembling hands, and pounding heart.

My name is Hanna and I am a fabric hoarder. It's an addiction I've had for over 10 years now. Ever since I started sewing I've had the compulsive need to find, buy, and keep fabric. I used to think that it was a bad thing. But, not anymore. Others might say I'm in denial, but what ever...

Sure, it can become a burden, when you live in a small flat with little storage. And yes, it's harder to keep a clean room with piles and piles of fabric lying around. But, there's one thing I've learned to believe over the years - every fabric has a destiny. I know, it sounds super fatalistic, and maybe even a little bit creepy, but hear me out.

The way I see it, there are two kinds of seamstresses. The ones that get a fabric for a specific project, and the ones that seek a project for that special fabric they bought. Of course, we all dabble in both sometimes, but most of the time, it's one or the other. I fall into the latter category. I used to beat myself up for it, but I've learned that that's just how I relate to fabric, and crafting materials in general for that matter. I've never dug deeper into it, but somewhere inside I feel that each fabric in my stash has it's own destiny to fulfill. It's like they want me to hold on to them until that right project comes along.

Time and time again my sewing-life has shown me that's the case. I've had fabrics wait in my closet for almost 10 years before they get made into something. There are fabric that I've laid on the floor many times only to put them back on the shelf cause it just didn't feel right. But those moments, when the right fabric meets the right idea are the ones that make it all worth it. The hours spent in fabric shops, taking a look at just one more roll of fabric... The piles of fabric, clothing and notions filling up every inch of our apartment (both previous and this one). It's all for that special moment, when the plan comes together. When the magic happens.

After all these years, I've learned to accept my condition, and live with it. And honestly, although I sometimes wish I could just use up everything I have and stop hoarding, I wouldn't really give it up even if I could. I love looking at my fabrics and dreaming of all the possibilities just too much.

How about you, are you more of a hoarder, or a buy-to-use type of seamstress?

xo. Hanna

This week was...

This week was good. I can't believe how different this week was from the last. I've been so much more energetic, determined, good-spirited and creative. In fact, I think I haven't created this much in months. I love the Creative10 project, and making stuff for my shop (another update is in the works) and for this blog. I feel like myself again. I hope it lasts.

This week was encouraging. My decision to take my blog and shop seriously has got me into full creative work mode. For the past 2 weeks I've made myself a to-do list for the week on Sunday, and tried to check off as many items as possible every day. As a result, I've worked 12-14 hour days, but I love it! I love waking up to my messy desk in our kitchen, opening my day-planner and getting to work. I also had a job interview this week - we'll see what comes of it. And, the biggest news of all, I got a singing engagement. I'm so excited about it, and can hardly believe it!

This week was creative. Not only do I have 2 shop updates in the works, I'm also creating a new blog-design, planning a big series for the blog, and I finally finished the sweater I've been knitting for the past month. Now I'm itching for a new knitting project. I don't think I'll be sharing the pattern for the sweater on the blog, since it didn't com out exactly as planned, and is a bit too complicated to do a DIY on, but I would love to create more simple knitting pattern for the blog. Any requests?

Also featuring me made pot holders.

This week was delicious. We're still going strong on our goal to try different recipes each week. I think we've made only a couple tried and true's over the last 4 weeks. Way to go Saar family! I'm so proud of us. Above is Rein's casserole (he'd never made one before).

Never mind the clock on the screen, this picture is form last Sunday

This week was new. Rein started a language course this week, which meant we'd wake up at 7am each day (which is pretty much unheard of, if you know me), and I have to admit I like this new rhythm, although the first few days were rough. I'm also sleeping much better now, since I'm actually exhausted by the end of the day. I would never have thought I'd like getting up early, and I can't say I love it (it's still hard), but I love the full day I have if I do. If I could only work on my creative goals, I'd have no trouble getting up to work anyway.

How was your week?
xo. Hanna

Creative10 // No.1 // Time to look up

Today's post is a bit different and marks the beginning of a new challenge - the Creative10. After 25 weekly quotes, I'm ready to try something new.

After reading your thoughts in the survey and a lot of reflection I realized one very important thing. More than anything, these weekly quote posts are a way to share my inner thoughts and feeling with you and connect through the good and sometimes rough times. Words mean only that which is behind them. Without the story, these words would mean just as little to me as they would to you - or rather, they would mean completely different things to us. But, through writing my personal story behind the words I've chosen, I'm bridging the gap between your world and my own, and we get to connect through our different, yet similar experiences.

I also realized another thing. Although I loved writing the posts themselves, I didn't love making the quote photos to go with them. I tried every Photoshop trick I could think of to share those words with you, but in the end, nothing felt right. I felt I was too confined in this medium and I didn't find creative joy in it.

Then, on my walk to the grocery store last week, I had an idea. If I graved change and more creativity, why not join those two into a new challenge for myself? Why not go out of my comfort zone and try something completely new? And in that moment, it clicked for me.

Over the next 10 weeks I'm going to make one piece of quote art each week. Each piece will be inspired by my reflections during that week and has a unique story behind it. The idea behind the Creative10 project is to exercise creativity through a new medium and get more in contact with myself in the process. And, hopefully, share my journey here on the blog.

Now, I would by no means call myself an artist, but I am a creative, and a maker. I've never been any good at drawing or painting, so this is more about the feelings I but into the piece than the aesthetics of it. In other words, this is art therapy.

Since 10 pieces of quote art is more than our walls can handle, I might sell a few of them here on the blog. I'm not yet sure about this, so we'll see how that pans out.

The story behind Creative10 #1

This week's quote art was inspired by an especially rough Friday last week. The kind of day that getting out of bed seemed mission impossible, and there was hardly any positive thoughts being generated by my brain. To be honest, I was feeling defeated and worthless. It seemed like I was going nowhere, being no-one, doing nothing - at least nothing of importance.

There was a breaking moment. I remember sobbing in my husband's arms and thinking "why am I doing this to myself?". Why is it that the only one not believing in me is ME. I realized that I was looking down on myself. I was making myself feel like I wasn't good enough, or worthy enough.

I think we all have this image in our heads. An image of a better me. Somewhere inside I know I can do more, be more... But that's the thing. I already AM more. I already do ENOUGH. I just have to start looking UP to myself and stop putting myself down. The only thing I need to change right now is my attitude towards myself.

This might seem like a really gloomy story, and that moment was truly hard. But, that moment was also valuable, because it gave me perspective. And I desperately needed perspective.

I looked back on my week and saw everything I had accomplished. I made things. I took care of my husband. I took care of our home. I worked hard on my little business. And that is plenty.

Thank you for letting me share!

xo. Hanna

Words for the Week // No.25

Yes, you are right, this in not a courage related quote. Yes, it's still January. And yes, I haven't changed my mind about letting one little word hover over me this year. But, sometimes things come up that feel more important that what you had planned. And last week, I came about two links that I just had to share with you for so many reasons.

Some of you might think that the main reason I like thrifting is because it's cheap, or because I like to remake things, or for the thrill of finding a hidden treasure for a buck or two. And, don't get me wrong, those are all a part of why I do it. But, the main reason behind why I thrift, refashion, and create up-cycled accessories is because I care. I care about what I consume, what happens to the things after me, and most importantly, what happens to this beautiful planet of ours after I'm gone. I wouldn't call myself an environmentalist, but I do care.

I also care about other people around me. Which is why this documentary series moved me so much. The question being asked is not whether we know how it's possible for us to buy a t-shirt at a fast fashion chain for 5€. Rather, the question is "Do we care?"

I think we do care, were just too busy, far, and comfortable to do something about it. Like this 14-year-old environmentalist, eco-fashion designer, author and philanthropist (nope, I did not get her age wrong) put it - the issue seems so big and daunting that we hesitate to do anything. Who are we to tackle something so huge, right? While I agree, that it should be the companies themselves that take responsibility for the way they manufacture their products, I also think we as individuals can make a difference.

And the problem is not just in the sweatshops, it's also in the way fabric is made and used, it's in the way we consume and discard. We have the opportunity to step in and make a change in each and every step on the way from fibre to discarded clothing. And like I said yesterday, small steps go a long way.

I'm the first to admit that I'm not doing enough. Because of a hundred reasons excuses, vanity and ignorance being among them, I'm also just beginning to take those small steps. And, I'm far from saying that I'll never shop cheap, or I'll never discard clothing again, but I am making a very conscious effort to only buy what I truly love. And to truly love the things I have. Because, I think that the root of the problem is not really in that we value material things too much, but rather that we don't value them enough. If we truly valued the things we had, we would not be so eager to get rid of or replace them with the next seasons "must-haves".

There so much still to be said to this topic, but I won't get further into it at this point. I hope you will watch the documentary, and read the inspiring story of Maya, and perhaps think about what steps are you willing to take to create real change.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic, so please chime in in the comments.

xo. Hanna

Sunday Spirit // Little steps go a long way

I feel I've been making progress this week. When I wrote that post on Monday, I really felt defeated. No job, no plan and a lot of worry. But, I was determined to get out of that rut and start feeling more like myself. I know that only I can make things better for myself. Yes, there are a lot of things that just feel lucky in our lives, but we still have to open ourselves up for those possibilities.

I decided today, that I will start work tomorrow. How the hell are you going to find a job in 12 hours you might ask? Well, you see, I already have a job. I have a shop. A functioning e-shop that I've been neglecting for the past few weeks. I've been so caught up in finding a "real" job, that I completely forgot that I actually have my own business. Truth be told, I'm probably the worst employee of the month right now, and that's not ok. It's time to stop doubting myself and start really working on those big goals.

I'm not saying I'll stop looking for a "real" job - we still need that financial stability right now. But, I might as well make the most of my time until then. I hope you'll be here to cheer me on! (Also, feel free to share my shop link with family and friends. How's that for my first marketing efforts?)

We've been trying to cope with the stress we both feel right now by taking daily walks together. Just to get outside, move and breath some fresh air. It's been so good. Especially when the sun shines during our walk and we get to talk about good stuff. Like making something yummy for dinner, or planning a party with friends. I think it's so important to make room for and remember those good things in our lives even in times of stress and tension. Sometimes, it doesn't take much to make a happy life.

Speaking of yummy... One of our New Year's goals was to cook something new every week. If you don't know this yet, I don't like cooking. If I could have it my way, I would hardly ever cook anything. But lately I've realized that a big part of why I don't like to cook is that I make the same things over and over and it's boring. We've been watching a lot (like a lot) of Master Chef lately, and I've been feeling more inspired to try new recipes. So far, we managed to make even more than one new dish each week and I hope we can keep that up. One my favorite dishes from the last couple of weeks was the pesto chicken pasta with rucola tomato and mango salad pictured above, and the best brownies I've ever made (or eaten) using this recipe.

I've also been making progress on my sweater. This one is coming along slowly, but steadily. I hope that once it's ready I can share the pattern with you as well. I usually make my own patterns when knitting, because every time I've tried to use an existing pattern, I've failed horribly. The most painful fail was the sweater I spent 3 months secretly knitting for Rein last Christmas, which turned out to be 3 sizes too big. Ouch! Needless to say (pun intended), I lost my will to knit for a while after that.

How was your week, friends!

xo. Hanna

P.S! Thanks to all who took the time to respond to the reader survey! It's now closed. I'll be posting a summary of the results some time next week.

Words for the Week // No.24

Another week, eh? I've got to tell you, these past couple of days have been rough on me. Somehow, this being unemployed and having all the time in the world doesn't suit me at all. Who would've guessed? I remember dreaming about these kinds of days. Days I could spend crafting and sewing and blogging and taking long walks and reading all my favorite blogs and sipping coffee all the while...

Well, the reality is, I'm not getting anything done. Ok, that's a mild understatement. I'm getting some stuff done, but not nearly as much as I thought I would. And a lot of my time is spent reading through job offers and writing applications in German. Or simply procrastinating and feeling guilty about it.

My initial plan when moving here was to find a job by January. That didn't happen. Then I thought surely I'd have something by February. Well, it's almost the end of January and guess what. Yep, no job in sight. I hate this waiting game. Sending out applications and then just waiting an waiting and waiting. Good things come to those who wait right? I sure hope so.

It's not all bad though. I sound like a regular negative-Nancy right now, but it's just one of those days, you know. I'm really thankful for my amazing husband who's been so supportive through all of this and I know that together we can manage anything.

Every time I write these types of posts, I hesitate a little. On the one hand, I want to keep this a positive place, but on the other hand, I don't want to hide all the rough spots of my life. Because, I think we all have our own struggles, and no-ones life is perfect.  There are good days and bad days. At the end of the day, it's all about just putting one foot before the other and make the most of each moment. Now is all we really have.

My mission for this week is to make every day count. Create every day. Enjoy every day.

What do you want your week to be like?

xo. Hanna